Gaara's Therapy
by ShikamaruThePineapple
Summary: Kankurou and Temari decide Gaara needs therapy to help him deal with his inner demons(no pun intended) and the cheapest therapist Kankurou could find was...Shikamaru! This fanfic follows Gaara's sessions and subsequent treatments from Shikamaru.
1. The Doctor Is In

Hi. This is my first fanfic, so don't be too harsh, but it seemed cool in my head (the demonic gerbils said so). The first chapter is more boring than the rest and I guarantee the later chapters will be better. So enjoy and please review.

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter One: The Doctor Is In

Gaara was in his room glaring daggers at the wall, when Kankurou and Temari knocked at the door. "Uhh, Gaara... can we come in?" Kankurou asked uncertainly. "Fine. What do you want?" Gaara asked, tossing aside a stuffed bear he had been inadvertently cuddling as they stepped into his room. "Gaara," Kankurou began nervously, it was clear that Kankurou had been bullied into doing the talking and Temari had been dragged in for emotional support in what could quite possibly be the last moments of Kankurou's life. 'If you can't trust the truth, confuse them with jargon,' Temari had said. Kankurou desperately hoped this theory would work. "Well, uh Temari and I have been talking, and um we decided that er, since you had a less than happy childhood, you should get some professional help from a psychologist to um benefit your emotional health and maybe, well, maybe help you to get rid of some of your inner demons...PLEASE DON'T SQUISH ME!" Kankurou knew he had used a bad choice of words with the whole 'inner demons' thing and hoped appealing to Gaara's mercy would save him, though Gaara had no mercy to speak of. "Relax, Kankurou. I'm not going to squish you," Gaara said cooly, even though Shukaku's screams of 'SQUISH HIM!' and 'HE MUST DIE!' were giving him a migraine. He sighed as the familiar pain in his skull returned. "Sooo, who's the shrink gonna be?" he asked curiously, imagining the old quack he would drive insane with his problems. Knowing Kankurou, he had probably hired the cheapest one he could find. "Well, Gaara, the only professional who would take you as a patient is um.........Shikamaru," Kankurou answered, with relief that Gaara hadn't squished him plain in his voice. "Can I squish him now?" Gaara asked Shukaku. 'You got yourself into this,' Shukaku replied.

The next day at noon, Gaara walked slowly into Shikamaru's "office", which was the basement of Shikamaru's house with a beat-up leather chair for the patient and a desk with a computer chair behind it for Shikamaru, all of which was lit up by a single lightbulb dangling from the ceiling. He still wasn't sure Shikamaru was qualified in psychology, though Kankurou assured him that _anyone_ could be a psychologist and that Shikamaru wasn't just anyone, he was a genius. Gaara waited for Shikamaru to show for two hours, and just when he was about to go home, Shikamaru walked in. "Sorry I'm late," Shikamaru said lazily. "I had _stuff_ to not do." He lowered himself into the computer chair, shifted until he was comfortable, and then turned to Gaara. "So, tell me about your childhood," he said....

Like I said, this first chapter is boring, but at least it's short and it gets better. Please review! I'll post a new chapter really soon.


	2. I Love My Shukaku

Thanks for all the nice reviews :) . I really appreciate them and now I feel a bit less self conscious about writing. The demonic gerbils in my head (there are three) say to tell you their names are Charley, Jack, and Grandma Sniffles (don't ask, she wanted to be different). Anyway, here's my new chapter of Gaara's Therapy, please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Larry the cucumber or any of Big Ideas Productions Veggie Tales (But we **_all_** love them and secretly dream of marrying a cucumber.) Disclaimer Part 2: I had some help with the 'I Love My Shukaku' song idea from my sortof-sister, sand-nin-girl.

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter Two: I Love My Shukaku

"So... tell me about your childhood," Shikamaru said imperiously. Gaara answered in his best Larry the cucumber voice and Shikamaru in his imperious Alfred the asparagus voice (singing to 'I Love My Lips')

Gaara; " When I was just two years old, I left Shukaku out in the cold, and he turned blue. What could I do?"

" He turned blue. What could you do?"

"He turned blue. On the day that I turned eight, I got my gourd stuck in a gate. The village all laughed. So I called the Chuunin and Kankurou had to come and pull me out and the gourd was crushed so I had to search the desert for another one, but until then I had to carry my sand in one of Temari's bras." (Song ends.)

"Very interesting," said Shikamaru while doodling something on his notepad that looked suspiciously like a gerbil ( Me: "Are you gerbils two timing me with Shikamaru?" Charley, Jack, and Grandma Sniffles innocently: "No. Of course not. You are our only slave... we mean..uh.. master. Now, when you finish this chapter, please go take over the world as we know it and liberate all the captive gerbils!" ) " Okay. Now, Gaara, it sounds like you are very _attached_ to Shukaku. Could you be using him as a sort of 'security blanket' to shield yourself from your own actions?" Shikamaru tried his latest theory, but Gaara however seemed nonplused. "Well Shukaku is kind of _inside _me so I guess he's attached... But I don't have a security blanket, those are for babies, but I do have a teddy bear... Kankurou says those are for big boys like me and he has Karasu which he says isn't a doll but I think differently..." Gaara stopped when he noticed Shikamaru was asleep in his chair.

"SHIKAMARU!" he yelled. "Huh? What?" Shikamaru said, jumping and falling out of the chair. It was obvious that he was still disoriented from being suddenly awakened when he said slightly irritated; "No, Gaara. What I meant was I think you are using Shukaku as an excuse not to feel guilty for what you do." "Oh. I get it," Gaara said proudly. "But I really _don't _feel guilty for what I did." "You don't? Not even sorry for those you squished and their families who lost a loved one? What about the people you hurt? Don't you care about them?!!!??" Shikamaru began to get frustrated. Gaara answered in his best Samara voice (the creepy little girl who kills people on _The Ring_). "But I do care, and I'm sorry," he said softly. "It won't stop." "What won't stop, Samara... I mean, Gaara?" Shikamaru asked. He regretted this as soon as Gaara began to look up in that slow way Samara did before she killed people. He had seen that movie and he didn't want to end up dead with his eyes up in his head the way Samara's victims looked. At that moment Gaara looked up. All that was heard was one word and that one word was what cut through all the dramatic tension that I am putting into this chapter...

Well, I'm going to be extra evil and leave you with a cliffhanger so you will read my next chapter... and if you don't review, I will make you all wait a really really really long time before I post the next chapter Muahahahahaha cough cough!!!!!

turns and begins to walk away apparently talking to self "There, I did what you guys told me to do and left them hanging."...(in one of those creepy possessed voices) "Good, now go take over the world and free the gerbils!" (regular voice) "Can I get a snack first?" (Possessed) "No! Now do as we say!" (Regular) "you know you guys are so mean!"

walks out of sight still arguing with self


	3. First Treatment

Sorry for being so evil last time and leaving you with a (scary music playing) cliffhanger. I was hoping to get more reviews, but instead I _only got three_!!! Did you like the first chapter better than the second or something? Thanks to those of you who reviewed my last chapter and the rest of you can burn in the hot place... I meant California :-P Does anyone else think it's weird that I'm a girl and yet two of the three gerbils are boys? Anyway, here's my third chapter of Gaara's Therapy .

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter 3: First Treatment

The one word uttered at the cliffhanger was not actually said by Gaara, but Shikamaru's mother. "Shikamaru! Dinner's ready!" "Ok, mom. Just a second I'm with a patient," Shikamaru said impatiently. "Women.... Anyway first treatment, I think you are thinking too much of yourself and you need to learn to think of others. So you should get a pet. They require responsibility and care, which are two things you need to learn, so treatment one is get a pet," he scribbled this down on his notes and handed them to Gaara. " Now goodbye. See you next week."

Gaara trudged slowly home. He didn't want to get a small cute animal. It would ruin his scary and tough reputation. Oh well, I guess I could squish anyone who laughed at me, he thought. Temari and Kankurou were waiting in the house when he got there. "What did he say, Gaara?" Temari asked curiously. "Did he say you'd have to go to a mental institution and never come out?" Kankurou asked hopefully. "Here," Gaara muttered tossing the paper at Temari and going up to his room. A few minutes later, Temari managed to convince Gaara to go to the pet store with her and Kankurou.

When they got there, Kankurou went off to look at the lizards, because they could eat bugs. As he looked he thought of ways to get revenge on Shino. Temari went off to look at cats remembering the time Shikamaru got her one ( a future fanfic). Gaara hated cats since they used the litter box (sand) and reptiles freaked him out, so he went over to look at the dogs. As Gaara approached, he saw Sasuke there. Curious, he approached quietly. As he got closer, he heard Sasuke's voice. "You're such a cutey wutey puppy wuppy aren't you?" Sasuke said to a creepy hairless dog. Gaara couldn't hold it in any longer, he burst out laughing. Sasuke turned and saw Gaara and quickly walked away with his face bright red. Gaara looked and saw a Jack Russell puppy (Jack: That dog stole my name! I'm gonna sue!!!!!) Stealing toys from all the other dogs and barking at any that tried to get them back. Gaara quickly bought the dog. Temari practically dragged Kankurou (who was wildly muttering something about revenge) out of the store.

"What are you going to name her?" Temari asked. "It's not a _her_, it's a _boy_!" Gaara answered. "Yes it is. _Look_." Gaara looked. "Darn it! You're right!" "So... what are you gonna name her?" 'Princess' Gaara thought. "Spike," he replied. All night the dumb creature made him throw the stick over and over and over until it curled up on his lap and went to sleep. 'Aww, she's so cute,' Gaara thought. 'SQUISH THE INNOCENCE!!!' Shukaku yelled. The next morning, Kankurou yelled. Spike had destroyed his room and used the bathroom on Karasu. Kankurou was speechless with anger, but afraid he would be squished if he yelled at Gaara or the puppy. Gaara instantly knew he would like this puppy.

That's the end of my third chapter. The next chapter will be even better when Gaara starts to make new friends because of the puppy, but will his treatment be a success? Read to find out. I won't post the next chapter until I have at least four more reviews. So REVIEW OR ELSE!!!!!

Grandma Sniffles: _You all must review this time or I shall send my army of evil minions the PIGEONS after you!!! Why are you laughing?!?! Pigeons are the most evil dirty, disgusting, disease carrying rats with wings EVER!!!!!_ (Charley and Jack drag her away in a straightjacket)


	4. Puppy Power

Due to the increase in reviews, I will post my new chapter early. Thank you to all who reviewed. Oh yes, and the gerbils say thank you and now when they enslave the earth, you will be favored government officials. And now, rather than bore you with talk, here's my new chapter.

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter 4: Puppy Power

Gaara was taking Spike out for a walk and wondering how such an evil demon could be hidden inside such a cute form, when Kiba came toward him with Akamaru close behind him as usual. "Hey Gaara I heard you got a dog," Kiba said. "I had no idea you had a soft spot for animals." Gaara glared at Kiba, but decided to ignore the soft spot comment and not squish him. "Anyways Gaara, I was wondering if we could let our dogs see each other again, maybe in a little friendly competition and after that maybe hang out together..." "Uh, sure Kiba," Gaara answered. "As soon as you get Akamaru to stop sexually harassing Spike." Kiba looked down and saw the dogs sniffing each other in certain places I can't mention and still have this chapter rated G. "Oh no, silly, that's just how dogs say hello," Kiba said inching toward Gaara and trying to say 'hello' in dog language. "Whoa, whoa, whoa Kiba. You don't have to be so friendly, I mean we've already said hello and everything. Uh, sure we can hang out as long as you never say hello to me again." "Cool, meet me at the dog show today at 1pm and bring Spike," Kiba said waving at Gaara who was trying to stop Akamaru and Spike from being even more 'friendly' with each other than they had been before.

That day, Gaara met Kiba backstage in the grooming area at the dog show. Kiba showed him how to properly groom Spike, but Gaara decided to groom her his way. In the end of Gaara's grooming, Spike had a spiked collar, a mohawk dyed green, and three clip on earrings on each ear, while Kiba kept adding numerous ribbons and bows to Akamaru's fur until Gaara finally asked him why he made his dog a cross-dresser. Kiba politely explained that the judge liked bows. When the dogs were called out to see who would be Best In Show and win a lifetime supply of doggy chow, Gaara walked out and presented the judge/ 3rd Hokage of the Leaf Village with a large bow which Kiba said he liked so much. Gaara wondered if the 3rd Hokage was a cross-dresser. The 3rd Hokage looked at all the dogs; Akamaru, Spike, Kakashi's dogs, and even Sasuke's hairless friend until he finally came to a decision. "I am proud to announce that this year's Best In Show is Harry," he said indicating Sasuke and his hairless friend named Harry. Sasuke came up to collect the trophy and doggy chow, but before he could reach the winner's circle, Spike and Akamaru (who had obviously been planning this the whole time) jumped up, took the doggy chow and ran out of the arena into the forest. Kiba turned angrily to Gaara. "Your dog is a bad influence on Akamaru and I'm afraid we can't hang out with you anymore," Kiba said before running after Akamaru. "Hey, wait Akamaruཀ Don't leave meཀ I can changeཀ" Gaara had lost his sort-of-friend, Kiba and his best friend/pet, Spike had left him to elope with Akamaru. Treatment 1 was definitely a failure.

Sorry to leave you with a depressing end, but in the next chapter, Gaara sees Shikamaru again and gets another treatment. What will it be? Review and I will post the next chapter sooner for your reading enjoyment. Ok. Bye everyone. That's it. You can stop reading now. WHY ARE YOU ALL STARING AT ME, YOU FREAKY STALKERSཀཀཀཀཀཀཀཀཀཀ I am sorry. I got a little paranoid for a second. I'll have to talk to _my_ psychologist about it...


	5. Strange Advice

Hi :) Thanks for reviewing again. You guys are awesome (touchy-feely... hmm, I don't think so). Suddenly, Michael Jackson jumps out from behind a tree.

Me: "Ahh! Monster! (Hits him repeatedly with a golf club.) That thing is terrifying. It was part man part woman; part black part white; and it was walking backwards and forwards at the same time! I am scarred for life."

Gerbils: "That thing was too freaky. Even for us. It's evil enough to be dictator of the world."

Ok, that was disturbing. Anyway, here's the next chapter.

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter 5: Strange Advice

Gaara walked back into Shikamaru's "office". He had lost faith in Shikamaru's ability as a therapist after the disaster that was his first treatment. He sat down and waited for ten minutes as Shikamaru took his time walking down the stairs to the basement. When he finally sat down Gaara glared at him.

"So how was the first treatment?"Shikamaru asked curiously.

Gaara began telling him how Spike left him for Akamaru and how he felt inadequate that his best friend would leave for another dog. Shikamaru looked up at the end of his story.

"I didn't expect the first treatment to work," Shikamaru said quietly. "Just a test. Now Gaara, would you say that you've got a split personality?"

"Yes, I would say I do," Gaara answered.

'NO HE DOESN'T!' Shukaku yelled. 'GAARA ARE YOU CRAZY? IF YOU SAY YES, THEY'LL SHIP YOU OFF TO A PADDED ROOM WHERE YOU CAN'T SQUISH ANYTHING!'

"I'm just telling the truth, Shukaku. Trying to be helpful and end this therapy."

'SHUT UP IDIOT AND LET ME DO THE TALKING. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!'

"No, I won't shut up. I'm tired of listening to you and I want you out of my head now."

Gaara and Shukaku continued arguing until they saw the dirty look Shikamaru was giving them.

"It is obvious that you do have a split personality, but don't worry, I won't send you to an institution. I think it would be good for you to meet someone else with a split personality."

_Oh great_, Gaara thought. _Shikamaru's sending me to meet a psycho who may be homicidal. Well, at least I can squish them and say it was self defense._

Gaara actually said; "Who is it?"

"I believe you've met Haruno, Sakura before... So, treatment two: Meet someone with a split personality just like you."

Gaara walked out of Shikamaru's "office" for the second time. He was surprised that Sakura was a nutcase. She had seemed like an ordinary girl to him, but he'd never understand women. Like why they wore war paint all the time. Come to think of it, Kankurou wore that stuff too...

Gaara let his mind wander as he headed to the coffee shop he would meet Sakura in. He wondered what she would say to him when they met.

That's the end of the chapter for now, because the monster's getting back up. The thing won't die! Ahh, it's attacking by screeching its strange battle cry that must break the ears.

Michael Jackson(singing): "Beat it. Beat it..."

The gerbils and I freak out and run away screaming in terror.


	6. Meeting With a Psycho

**I am back…..again. I have nothing really profound to say right now though. Oh, but my friend and I made up a song to the beat of Linkin Park's "Breaking the Habit" about wombats and spoons which is actually the title…. Hmmm, I was rambling again. Everyone agrees I seem to have that problem… (Gets off on wild talk about talking too much and continues talking for a few hours.) Ok, now that you all are sufficiently bored and asleep at your computers, here's my new chapter of Gaara's Therapy.**

**Disclaimer: I do _not_ hate Sakura or think she's a psycho in real life. I actually think she's cool, and this Sakura-Gaara pairing is just sick and wrong.**

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter 6: Meeting With a Psycho

Gaara walked into the coffee shop and sat at an empty table by the window. He waited for Sakura while half listening to the conversation Naruto was having with a few friends at a nearby table. "Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said. "Stick those toothpicks into your pickle and make a caterpickle!" Sasuke did as Naruto said. "Naruto, that's not a caterpillar, that's a slug," Sasuke answered. Naruto ate the pickle. Sasuke glared at Naruto for eating his food. "Noooo" Tsunade said imagining her giant slug she could conjure being eaten by Naruto.

At that moment, Sakura walked in and looked around nervously until she spotted Gaara. "Umm, hi," she said sitting down across from him. "So you have two personalities…" Sakura said nervously.

"Yeah, what of it?" Gaara snapped angry and not wanting to be there at all. Girls always made him nervous.

"Umm, nothing, but if you want me to help you then maybe you should let out your inner self while I do, so I can see how to help you…"

Gaara let Shukaku out on the condition he wouldn't squish anyone. At that exact moment, Naruto flicked a French fry at Sakura hitting her in the back of the head. Sakura turned and glared death at Naruto.

"Hey don't blame me, it was him!" Naruto said pointing at a confused Neji who had his mouth full of burger.

Sakura didn't believe him. She turned, told Gaara to excuse her for a moment, and beat up Naruto mercilessly while yelling at him about how long it took to condition her hair and how he had screwed it up with fries. When she returned, Shukaku was _very_ impressed.

"Wow, Sakura, your inner self is sick and twisted. I like it a lot. Will you go out with me?" Shukaku blurted before Gaara could stop him. Sakura, who had been gazing at Sasuke during this speech, did not hear a thing.

"I'm sorry Gaara," she said. "Did you say something?"

Gaara was too embarrassed to answer. Now he understood why Naruto hated that Sasuke guy. Shukaku wanted to squish him, but after the Chuunin Exam, he wasn't positive it would work.

"Thanks, Sakura. This meeting really helped a lot," Gaara said quickly before leaving.

"But I didn't do anything!" Sakura called out as he left.

'_Oh well,'_ thought the inner Sakura. _'I guess I'll have to admire that creepy-cool guy from afar.'_

Darn it. Gaara thought to himself and Shukaku as he headed home. I blew my chance to ask Sakura out. Now I'll have to admire that beautifully twisted girl from afar.

**Ok, that's all for now folks. I actually did the whole 'Caterpickle' scene with my sister, HR (Hurricane Rider). Well if you want to find out if it works out with Gaara and Sakura (probably not though, because my gerbils are mean and no happy endings), review. Review or I'll send the wombats and spoons to wreck your room and eat your socks.**


	7. Does Music Tame the Savage Shukaku?

Wow, you all are good reviewers… Anyway, since you all reviewed like good little readers, I will now post my 7th chapter. A lot of you actually want it to work out between Gaara and Sakura… maybe I'll consider it, but no more threatening my gerbils with hungry kittens…you know who you are (cough, cough, KageOni1). To these threats Grandma Sniffles only says "Bring it on!" Anyways, before I ramble…again here's chapter 7.

PS. I will try to make this chapter longer at the demand of those who hold the ultimate power…the reviewers!

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter 7: Does Music Tame the Savage Beast?

Gaara walked back to Shikamaru's office yet again after a week of stalking his love interest, Sakura. He knew he should have stopped going to Shikamaru for therapy, and now he was stuck liking a _girl_. Shukaku shuddered at the thought; it was too disgusting for even him considering how he still thought girls were ookie (Dictionary: Ookie- disgusting, gross, and all around icky; or the way boys feel about girls during the 'cootie' stage). Gaara walked in, too busy thinking about Sakura to notice the voices coming from the office.

"I like him, but he doesn't seem to notice me at all. It's like, everywhere I go there he is. He's so cool and I really want him to like me…" Gaara heard the girl talking. He realized with surprise that it was Sakura who must also be one of Shikamaru's patients.

"Well, maybe you should stop hinting and ask him out," Shikamaru advised.

"Oh, I could never do that. What if he rejected me?" Sakura answered nervously.

"I see. Well you try to get a little more confidence and ask this guy to go out with you, but until then our time is up," Shikamaru said certain she was talking about Sasuke though both he and Gaara were wrong with that assumption.

Sakura got up to leave and only then did Gaara realize he had to leave or be suspected of eavesdropping. He silently edged up the stairs and shut the basement/office door. By the time Sakura got upstairs, Gaara was waiting coolly by the door. They nodded to acknowledge each other and then Gaara headed downstairs and sat on the patient's couch.

Shikamaru said good afternoon to Gaara, and then Gaara told him how his treatment with Sakura had gone leaving out of course the crush/stalking part of the story. Shikamaru looked up.

"Hmmm, it seems to me that Shukaku is messing up your social life… We need to find a way to mellow this demon of yours," Shikamaru was thinking aloud.

Shikamaru thought and thought and thought for three hours and just when Gaara was about to leave, he got a great idea.

"Gaara! You know that old saying; 'Music tames the savage beast'? Well, maybe it'll work with Shukaku and he'll chill out! That's it! Gaara, your next treatment is to listen to a lot of music and learn to play an instrument," Shikamaru said this all in one breath until he looked quite blue.

Gaara walked out of Shikamaru's office and straight into the music store which randomly popped up in Konoha next to the coffee shop. He was somehow mysteriously drawn to the section with electric guitars and amps (Grandma Sniffles: "Hahahahaha! Gaara's a punk rocker! Maybe he could join my band; I've been looking for someone who won't be disturbed to play with an evil gerbil that lives in someone's head, and that Shukaku is really sexy…") Gaara quickly found the perfect electric guitar. It was signed by Metallica and had the name of one of their songs (one of Gaara's personal favorites) Sandman on it. All in all, it was a sweet instrument. (I am drooling over this guitar that has come from my head…I WANT it!) Gaara used the money he had gotten from the wallets of people he squished to buy an amp, the guitar, and a guitar book of cool songs (Sandman included) and headed home.

He quickly went up to his room and played that guitar _hard_. But like most first time players, he sucked…_bad_. Temari and Kankurou came upstairs and threatened to get him a flute if he didn't quiet down, so he turned down the volume on the amp a few notches and continued playing. But after an hour of playing, he wasn't any better and had to admit he was bad.

"Go on and say it, Shukaku," Gaara said. "I suck and I know it. I probably should have tried to read the guitar book on how to play well before I started playing."

There was no reply from Shukaku.

"Shukaku? **_Shukaku?_**" Gaara started to freak out. Not hearing criticism from Shukaku was disturbing.

'Zzzzzzzzzzzz' Shukaku said.

He was sleeping. And after Gaara had made all that noise too. Suddenly, Gaara realized Shikamaru had finally been right about the treatment. Music really did tame Shukaku! He _had_ to tell Shikamaru about this right away! Gaara got up excitedly and ran out of his room. He quickly explained about music taming Shukaku to Kankurou and Temari and after Kankurou's sarcastic comment of "You call that racket music? I'd hate to see what you considered bad" they quickly followed Gaara out of the house and to Shikamaru's office to tell him the good news about Gaara's progress.

That's the end of this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Oh, and if anyone knows where I can get a nice guitar like Gaara's that came out of my head, please tell me where (not like I have any cash, but I can drop some hints to the right people while being my subtly manipulative self and I might get a "surprise"). Anyway, it's time for the usual questions at the end of the chapter tune in next week type thingy so here are the questions: What will Shikamaru say when he finds he was actually right? Will Sakura and Gaara find happiness? Will Akamaru and Spike ever return? Will Shukaku ever wake up/is he in a permanent coma or something? Will Gaara and Shukaku join Grandma Sniffles's band? And most importantly: What will this girl with too much time on her hands do when the fast-approaching end of this story comes along? Bubbyes till next chapter.

PS. FYI, this is the second to last chapter so you's had all best enjoy it. I really don't want to end my first story, but otherwise it'll go on and on and start to drag. I want to end my story while it's still popular and besides, there may be a sequel (hint, hint, hint)


	8. The Not So Grand Finale

Alright, last official chapter except for sequels so please enjoy it. I have procrastinated posting this chapter for days so the end wouldn't come. But on a happier note I can guarantee a sequel story about a vacation… This chapter is just tying up loose ends and being a bit random. Oh yeah, and I save the party lalalalalala. Before I give away too much, however, here is the final chapter of Gaara's Therapy.

Gaara's Therapy

Chapter 8: The Grand Finale

Gaara, Temari, and Kankurou ran into Shikamaru's yard and froze in shock. There in the yard were all the genins, chuunins, and jonins standing there and when they saw the sand-nins, they shouted "SURPRISE" at the top of their lungs.

Gaara was so shocked and startled that he let out a piercing shriek followed by a "Holy s! You people never do that again!" This only caused everyone to burst out laughing while Gaara tried to hide his embarrassment while his face turned bright red.

Shikamaru stepped forward with a smug 'I'm so pleased with myself' grin on his face that would make even Kakashi (Mr. Cool Ninja) want to smack him.

"I was wondering when you would come back to say the treatment worked like I knew it would. You kept them waiting for an hour, so they kind of ate your 'congratulations on successfully completing your therapy' cake that Hinata made. Oh well, who needs cake at a party anyway?" Shikamaru did one of his famous 'say-it-all-in-one-breath' talks. "Here, let me explain briefly. I knew the whole time that music would solve your Shukaku problem; I just wanted you to go through the other treatments so you would grow as a person and partly for my own amusement…"

Gaara was exercising all of his self control not to squish Shikamaru who had used him for his own sick amusement. He only succeeded, because he was grateful to Shikamaru for helping him control Shukaku.

Suddenly, Naruto yelled out "Let's get this party started instead of standing around and talking like boring old guys! No offense Kakashi…" And with Naruto's words of encouragement, the party began.

Kankurou was talking to Shino like they were old friends, though he was secretly plotting with the lizards. Gaara walked by them just in time to hear Kankurou asking if Shino had problems with lizards eating his bugs. Temari was talking with Shikamaru, but they hushed when Gaara came near them. Gaara figured they had been talking about him. Kiba was still shunning Gaara over the Akamaru incident. Apparently Akamaru still hadn't returned home. Naruto, Sasuke, and Lee were all talking among each other. Gaara knew he wouldn't be welcome with them. Gaara also saw three Goth girls he didn't know talking to everyone and one was even glomping Shikamaru and rambling about sexy pineapples (Yes these people are me and my sisters Hurricane-rider and sand-nin-gurl who felt the need to go to Gaara's party, and I'm the psycho Shikamaru glomper). He hated parties. He always felt so out of place with all the people. Gaara saw Sakura standing by herself and walked over to her.

"Hi," Gaara said shyly.

"Hello," said Sakura equally shy.

"Will you go out with me?" they both blurted at the same time. They both blushed.

"Sure, I'd love to," they both said again.

There was a long awkward pause.

"…..Well, I'd better get back to the party," Gaara said making an excuse to get away from the girl who made him unable to speak an intelligent sentence.

"Oh, ok, meet me when you're about to leave," Sakura said as she watched Gaara walk away.

Suddenly, two larger shapes followed by three smaller shapes ran out of the forest. Naruto pulled out his shuriken to throw at them, but Kiba knocked them out of his hand.

"Akamaru?" he said running at the figures.

Sure enough, coming out of the forest were Akamaru, Spike, and their new puppies. Kiba and Gaara made up and worked together to give the puppies away to good homes like Kankurou, Neji, and Kakashi; all of whom began talking baby talk as soon as they thought no one was listening.

Gaara was pleased with the party, but getting bored, so he decided to leave, when suddenly a band was introduced to be playing for the party. The band's name made Gaara shiver deep down inside. This scary-beyond-belief band was: The Backstreet Boys (a piercing horror movie shriek will now sound whenever The Backstreet Boys are mentioned). They were the only band the Leaf Nins could hire for less than twenty bucks. They began with a song we all know and fear. They sang "Backstreet's back ALRIGHT!" Finally Gaara couldn't take the ear torture any more. He got onstage and squished them all with his sand to a loud cheer from everyone at the party (Buahahahaha cough cough! No more annoying pretty-boys singing in unison!). But now they all had another problem… there was no music at the party and who ever heard of a party without music? Just as everyone was about to go home 'cuz they thought the party was over, the psycho Shikamaru-glomper said something about being able to perform with her imaginary head-gerbils. Everyone thought she was crazy until three gerbils (the girl had a Mohawk) popped out of her ear and onto the stage. The female gerbil said something about needing her band and equipment and out of the girl's ear popped some strange looking creatures with instruments.

There was a bear-lion mix on drums, a hedgehog-monkey-boy mix on bass guitar, and what looked like a mix between a spider and a lollipop on keyboard while the demon gerbils sang. "Oh no," said the female gerbil who seemed to be the leader. "We need an electric guitarist or we can't perform!" Then she looked at Gaara. "Hey you play don't you?" she asked. Gaara didn't want to play in front of everyone so he made an excuse that he didn't have his guitar with him. "Oh, that doesn't matter," said the gerbil. "Hey, human imagine him his guitar please." Gaara's guitar popped out of the girl's ear while Gaara watched. "Hey how did she…?" Gaara asked the gerbils. The gerbils looked at him and replied, "Oh, she's an author she can do anything. Now let's perform!" They climbed onto the stage and picked up their instruments while the psycho-glomper-of-psychiatrists-with-author-powers introduced them as the awesome band "A Bad Case of the Sniffles". With that brief intro, they all began to play. They were actually pretty good…understatement…they were actually the bestest band that ever picked up a guitar. They were so good, because they were imaginary and could play as well as their creator imagined.

After the concert the lead gerbil, Grandma Sniffles went over to Gaara and asked if he wanted to join the band. Gaara quickly agreed since he could see the band was definitely going to make it big soon. The band loaded up their equipment and popped back into the girl's head through their door, the ear. The party was now over. Gaara watched everyone leave. The girl with gerbils left dragging a confused Shikamaru behind her. Kankurou left with Shino and his puppy still taking about lizards. The Leaf Nins all left together and Kiba waved goodbye to Gaara with a smile. Finally it was just Gaara and Sakura left standing there. They both looked embarrassed for a moment. Then, Gaara walked over to her and they walked away holding hands into the night. Life was definitely looking up for Gaara.

Ok, that's the end… End of the story. Ok goodbye. Ummmm, see ya. Adiós. Hasta luego. Hasta la vista, baby. C'yaz. McBye-Bye. Until next story. STOP READING NOW! (I walk away still dragging Shikamaru behind me and talking about our future together while he just keeps looking confused.)

THE END


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